What can hurt us over the passing of a loved one? So an initial bereavement produces a feeling of shock and numbness. But sadness, anger, guilt, or depression may come soon.
Grieving is a process and it isn’t humanly possible to take care of its devastation all at one time. An unexpected bereavement can be particularly tough to make sense of. Bewilderment and demonstration can endure for several years.
What was felt as a crucial relationship could have vanished. The death then ends in a feeling of vulnerability for you personally as a lone human being.
So perhaps it is not surprising that we all may feel uneasy when in the business of a mourning friend particularly after a significant recent loss. Not needing to mention that the death for fear of saying the wrong thing. Uncertainty about what to say which may be useful in the circumstance. In two minds about how long to give them if they want to speak at length about their feelings.
Some folks may be in the tradition of not allowing themselves to get in touch with any internal painful feelings. So, after the death of a loved one, they might attempt to continue as if little had happened, not talking to the deceased person in conversation. However, it will not help to collude together in dismissing their bereavement.
It’s tempting to soothe and comfort the bereaved person who’s hurting. But really this may hinder them from speaking about their feelings in their own speed.
2. Bereavement and time to speak privately.
The bereaved vary about how much they would like to share their negative feelings. Some want to talk in length. This may cause you to feel uncomfortable. However, they might need you to let them do this. So suggest anything could be said. Give time.
There’s an irrational portion of each of us that is very likely to add to feelings of bitterness or create a blaming attitude about a reduction. For example anger against destiny, or even against the individual that has died. If challenged such attitudes might be suppressed. Just if they come to the open can they be researched and later questioned.
Some individuals could mention their loss but attempt to put on a brave face. They may feel ashamed of the strong feelings and need encouragement to share their sorrow.
4. Bereavement and insight
‘Is there something that I could have done to avoid this? If only I’d…’
This feeling could be for that which was unresolved between the deceased and the living person.
The bereaved person can be greatly assisted to be gain insight into ridiculous ideas about their loved one by reliving memories, e.g. by going through the photographs, Indialantic Wildlife Removal and speaking about and acknowledging what’s been great and precious in the connection. Likewise, why not invite them to discuss the deceased with individuals who knew the deceased person nicely. This would help to develop a more precise picture and to incorporate others’ understandings with the individual’s own memories and images.
This should also help the bereaved person be realistic about him or herself. Speaking about the deceased helps the person to recognise that every one of us is that we are, in part because of whom another person was to us.
5. Bereavement and expert help.
It’s realistic to expect to continue to be greatly upset by bereavement for a couple of decades or so. However, your friend may need at some stage to be assured that it wouldn’t be disloyal for them to let a re-integration with life and slow forming of new ties.
However they may seem to be inconsolable, stuck endlessly in their despair. They could be functioning in a limited way but refuse this is associated with their own bereavement or any inability to give expression to their feelings.
“If someone hasn’t had the benefit of previous secure attachment, the reduction will be far more difficult to bear (and may require counselling to unravel the sooner problems).”
He reported that unlike the body, the brain of a person doesn’t die. In the material world a desire to speak to somebody brings people together on the telephone or in person. Likewise, after passing in another life, he wrote that we are able to speak to some deceased person we would like to that we had previously known from our bodily life; especially a buff or other household member. Swedenborg wrote that he had witnessed many soul people with their soul relatives. But if they found that they were of different inner personality they parted company after a time. For in the spiritual kingdom he states internal likeness unites and inner gap separates.